A pit in my stomach...

Why am I so nervous about our appointments tomorrow?

I think it is because I really feel like these meetings finally shape Brando's decision to adopt from Ethiopia. I want to know and I would like a decision soon, one way or another, but am I really ready for this?

I asked him the other night, "if we don't adopt, can we start building a baby in January?" It completely floored him...he didn't have a response and the idea seemed weird to him. He'd never thought of it....To be honest, me neither, I think we have both just pictured building our family in a certain way. In order to keep my sanity, I have decided to take his response as a good sign.